EGGS DAY 7

#76: BEETLE BUG THING THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS OR WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO DO

I'm not sure what this creature is or how to operate it. The instructions show pushing it down into the stand, which I can do, and then it locks in and you're supposed to do something to make it leap up or something but I can't get it to work at all. Well, they can't all be winners.

#77: LIGHT ABSORBER GUYS

There's two of these, but they came together in the same capsule, so they count as one toy. You have a little gremlin guy there in red, and a yellow fairy girl. If you keep them in the light for a while they will soak it up and then if you run to a dark area and they'll glow for a little while. Basically they're really inconvenient flashlights.

#78, 79, & 80: DUPLICATE TOYS

I've already gotten all of these before and I don't even like any of them that much so FUCK THESE

#81: CAT LANTERN (CATERN)

Another one in the same series as that fish and frog. You can't see it in the photograph but he has a tail that oddly has a fish drawn on it.

#82: RUBBERY KANGAROO THIEF

Definitley a kangaroo, but he's either got eyes like a raccoon or is wearing a thief mask. Made of the same rubbery plastic as the rubbery aliens, and just like them he does not bounce well at all.

#83: CONSTRUCTION POD

A digging construction vehicle that does not seem to have anywhere for a driver to sit. Maybe it digs up the dirt and then places them inside the green capsule-half. Maybe it is remotely operated. He has cool treads that work well.

#84: METAL CAR

Most of this car is normal plastic, but that middle part is METAL. I've read that Kinder Eggs that are metal are more rare but I dunno if there are some that are entirely metal like that were made before plastic was invented or if just having a metal part like this one counts as it being rare. But it's still pretty cool, as far as cars go.

AND NOW...

THE BEST TOY SO FAR

I fucking love this guy. He looks kind of like a Richard Scarry character except that he isn't an animal. He's just a peg, but he has a car that comes in two parts. The back half of the car can slide into the front, and then you put the peg guy in the hole in the middle to lock the car together. This allows the car to bend, which is unneccessary, because that's not even how cars work, but that makes it even better. And check out how big his nose is. What a cool guy.

EGGS DAY 6

Notice: two eggs were sacrificed to cousins on Easter. There are now 123 eggs, not 125.

#65: BANANA THROWING MONKEY

This monkey has a banana peel (that is orange, oddly), which can sit in his left hand. Then you push down on his right hand he throws it. It's hard to make the banana sit in his hand though, there isn't really a good spot to make it sit in.

#66 & 67: MORE COUNTRY HAND STAMPS

Even more of these fucking stamps. At least I almost have a complete set.

#68: TANTRUMING TURTLE

A turtle who, as you push him along, will lift his head up and slam it back on the ground over and over in frustration.

#69: PILGRIM / WATCH RACECAR DRIVER

When you think of who would likely be in a racecar, a witch is pretty low on the list. But, here she is. The witch part (really, a flat piece of plastic with a sticker of a witch on it) slides inbetween the front bumper and the main chasis of the car, and it is designed so that if the bumper pushes into something it will eject the driver. Because, you know, if you tap into something with your bumper, it is a really good safety system to be ejected out of the car.

#70: PINK FOX

foxes are not meant to be labor animals

there no reason for him to be dragging cart

he only smiling because he knows no other life

let fox run free

#71: SPINNY HERMIT CRAB

The top part has a button you can press that shoots out the hermit crab part and he will spin around. Make your home in a conch shell or something if you don't want to be spun around like a top, buddy. Your spiral spell is perfect for spinning.

#72: SMUG SNOWBOARDER

Works the same way as the sledding guy from before, he can fold up and be put into that building and then shot out and he'll move a little way. But damn, look how smug that guy is. He can snowboard and doesn't give a fuck.

#73: PORKINS

X-Wing pilot in egg form. The blue part in the back is half of the capsule he came in. This isn't quite an X-Wing, though, but maybe a training version or an X-Wing toy you pay a quarter to ride.

#74: RUBBERY ALIEN REDUX

Rubber alien. Supposed to bounce. Doesn't bounce. He's a duplicate of one I got already. Okay.

#75: SPINNY ALIEN

Yet another kinder egg toy that spins. This one is a top that operates not by spinning it, but by pulling the string and dropping it real quick. It spins pretty well.

EGGS DAY 5

be a better runner with limber legs

life's more funner with kinder eggs

Another day, another set of eggs.

#53 & 54: SAILBOATS

The first duplicate toys I've gotten, and I opened them both in a row. They're okay sailboats, at least. The thin plastic sails are similar to how LEGO sailboats work. 

#55: ALLIGATOR

Just a basic alligator, not much special going on hereW-wait a minute-

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT IS GOING ON

OH FUCK. Alligator turns into a bus. Full control in water, on land, and on roads. I think that sticker is on backwards but I don't give a FUCK

#56: MAGIC MUG

The idea with this mug is you put coins in it and they get stuck on the loose magnet at the bottom of it, and then you turn the mug upside down and if you're retarded you're amazed at how the coins don't fall out. It's too small for US coins to fit in, though.

#57: LEAFY LOUIE, MASTER OF THE EARTH

Some kind of toy that is meant to be used in a game, but you need two to play. The middle part with the super hero kid can be flicked out of the stand and I guess the goal is to try and take turns knocking the other person out of their stand. Since you need two of them to play, and with the amount of different Kinder Egg toys possible, I highly doubt a single game of this has ever been played.

#58: TOURIST BLIMP

Another one where the capsule is part of the toy. If you have a lot of money I guess you can take a vacation in this private blimp and watch the world below you.

#59 & 60: ORANGE  BUNNY & BLUE BUNNY

The blue bunny is another duplicate, but the orange one is new. Even though they are part of the same series, they are oddly put together differently: the blue one has the top and bottom halves of his body in two different pieces, while the orange one has the head and torso seperate. I found out in the instructions that you're supposed to push down on their back and they should hop, but it doesn't work very well.

#61: BLUE FAN LAUNCHER

The fan loosely snaps into the main part, then you pull the ridged thing out real fast and the fan launches out and spins around. It works really well.

#62: EYE ROLLING ELEPHANT

A purple elephant with his eyes looking to the upper right. The sticker on his body is hard to make out with the glare but his trunk continues into the sticker and he is using it to drink lemonade with. If you turn the wheel on his bottom his ears move.

#63: WALLBIRD

A bird who looks particularly upset at this angle, but usually he doesn't. If you push down his tail his head turns. The instructions show that you can use that hole in him to put a nail or a screw through, if for some reason you like this plastic toy from an egg so much you want to put a hole in your wall to display it.

#64: CAT

Another from the series of magnet-weighted animals that you're supposed to try to blow over. Not much to say about this one, which would make this a bad toy to end the post on

EGGS DAY 4

I forgot to take the group shot of these ones. I took like five of these pictures and then I realized I didn't have the card in and I had to redo them.

#42: CATAPULT CRAB

Part of the same set as the Snail Pirate. Like how baby birds need to learn to fly, hermit crabs must learn to swim. There is a catapult that works really well that you can slide him into and then try to get him to land in the life preserver.

#43: DECODER RING

A decoder ring that has two different codes you can choose between, although it is a pretty simple cipher either way. Still, good for child spies.

#44: CHECKERED PUZZLE

I actually think this is a good puzzle, although it isn't a very good toy. You have to fit the pieces together to a 5x5 square, but not only do they need to fit together but you want to solve it so there is a checkered pattern and there's none of the two shades of blue next to each other. Once you finish it you can play the world's smallest game of checkers.

#45: BLOW UP FROG

Another one like the fish from before, he has a hole on his top that you can blow into to make him puff up. Frogs use this to scare their prey.

#46 & 47: SPACE EXPLORER AND OCEAN EXPLORER

Weird toys that I guess are supposed to be shuttles of some sort. They have paper parts that fold up into a circle and you can slide into slots on the ship. I think the rings are supposed to represent that they are travelling at warp speed. The one with the astronaut girl has space behind her and the green monkey guy has water behind him. Go explore!

#48: CIRCUS SCENE

Two circus animals and a clown on stickers that you put infront of a tent. A nice scene, nothing is wrong here, but...wait!...

The first Kinder Egg fatality. The round part is supposed to pop into the triangle shape on the top of the tent and then these two guys would spin around. I couldn't get it to fit in well, though, and I ended up breaking one of the yellow plastic poles off. At least this happened before the act started, we wouldn't want these guys to get hurt while they're performing.

#49: TWO SIDED TOP (NUMBER TWO)

Another one of the tops. The other side has a green and orange colored pattern. 

#50: TRICERATOPS

A friendly triceratops, possibly from the Land Before Time. His head turns left and right and his tail can move as well.

#51: METRONOME MAN

This toy has a man who looks like Mr.Game & Watch holding onto the stick of a metronome, and as you turn the wheel on the bottom he moves back and forth. He also has a flag sticking out of his head apparently. Since it has to be manually operated I dunno if it really works well as a metronome.

#52: TRIBESMAN

This guy is like a mix between a Playmobil and a LEGO man. Has a mask and can hold either a canteen or a lamp. Scares away people at night. Or maybe is just dressing up to perform in a play.

EGGS DAY 3

I didn't update yesterday. I did open more eggs, though.

#32: BELLO

This is a dog named BELLO. He has two food bowls attached to his feet and a spinner. The instructions show that you're supposed to play some game, but I'm not sure how it works. He comes with a spinner, but what the pictures mean I don't understand. Two are bowls and two are bones, and the others are the letter "N" and "A". I dunno. You can just play the game of throwing blue bones in the blue bowl and yellow bones in the other, instead.

#33: SPINNY HEAD INDIAN

In the same series as the diver, but this one doesn't die. Its faces don't act out a scene at all, actually, he just has different expressions. And a pipe.

#34: LADY IN ILL-FITTING DRESS

Her dress doesn't fit! Or maybe just the collar is too high. Either way, most of the time she can barely see out of there. Her head is attached to a wheel at the bottom and as you push her along her head pops up and down, trying desperately to see what is going on.

#35: DOUBLE SIDED FLIP BOOK

An unusual one. You can flip it one way and see the story of a dog trying to sleep and being awakened by an elephant, then turn it upside down and flip it the other way to see a story of some animal holding a hoop that a lizard jumps through. So how about that.

#36: SNAIL PIRATE

I like this one a lot. It is just the mast of a pirate ship, but the pirate is a snail. Note the shell and crossbones on the flag. You can push the middle section up to the top and then it will teeter back and forth along the ridges of the mast as it slowly makes its way down. The slowest ship on the seven seas.

#37: MOTHER GOOSE

The only ways she can stand are looking up or staring at the ground. 

#38: SNOWBOARD KID

Actually I think it's a sled. The kid (with a wolf) can fold down towards the sled, then be crammed him into the building. Then you can push the brown part of the cabin and he will shoot out.

#39: ALIEN DIORAMA

Not a toy, just a diorama. An alien in a spaceship is sending out lasers across the land, while a saucer in the background shoots a jet of fire extinquisher foam. A little green alien cowers behind a rock, watching the events unfold. Zisch!

#40: PTERODACTYL

A basic little pterodactyl. The instructions game with a little diagram showing the pterodactyl's size in relation to a human, and apparently they were pretty small.

#41: SNAIL SLUG

Giant Snail's prefer to eat children, but since they are slow and can't hold weapons, they rely on their intellect to capture prey. This snail has built a slide on his back which secretly leads down to a vat of digestive acid.